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My Missions Calling

Heyo!  In this post I’ll be sharing my plans for the next season of life.  The process of deciding the next steps I’ll be taking has been quite a journey.  I have a tendency to create my own plans, but I’ve realized that although God gives us free will and the option to choose which path in life we will take, He also guides us and leads us, and sometimes this guiding is towards a path that we may not have chosen on our own, but I am finding so much joy in this truth!  I am so excited for what God has next and to share this new beginning with you all.

As many of you know, I had been considering transferring to Liberty University from the College of William and Mary after DTS, primarily on the grounds of wanting to have a Christian education and my interest in majoring in their School of Divinity.  Before this, I dreamed of going to medical school and becoming a doctor. However, since being in DTS, I have realized that although I enjoy learning about medicine very much, God has placed within me a new passion for spreading His name to those who have not heard of Him!  My heart and desires have been transformed by the Lord, and I am excited to step into the unexpected, zealously engaging in His global mission.


During week three of lecture phase, we had a teaching on the parable called “The Pearl of Great Price” which is in chapter thirteen of Matthew’s gospel.  The parable reads as follows: “The kingdom of heaven is like a merchant in search of fine pearls, who, upon finding one pearl of great value, went and sold all that he had and bought it.” When reading this parable, I can easily picture this merchant, unexpectedly coming upon this magnificent pearl: it shimmers as a sun beam catches a perfect angle and in that moment He knows, it’s worth everything. He begins to look around to see if anyone else has recognized its beauty, but it seems he is the only one who's caught a glimpse!! So he then leaves, goes to his home, and grabs everything he has, and begins selling all of his possessions. His friends and family immediately notice, and with concerned tones in their voices they go after him asking, “What is going on? What’s gotten into you?? Are you crazy? You are literally selling away your life! Did you say ‘for a pearl’?”  And this man just smiles, as he sells his last item, knowing he has just enough to go and buy that pearl. “It’ll be worth it,” he responds, and then he walks back to the booth where he first saw the pearl, gives its owner all that he had raised, and then he takes the pearl into his hand gently, knowing with full assurance that he just made the best trade in the world.

Sounds like a pretty weird and radical story, especially if you aren’t familiar with it. But this story was in fact symbolism used by Jesus to explain the Kingdom of Heaven. Basically, Jesus is saying that relationship with God is the most important thing, trumping all else we view as valuable. He is worth literally loosing everything for. In our lives as Christians, we are called to a total, all-inclusive, radical sell-out for the Savior.  This is what Jesus bids us, just like He bid His disciples when invited them to join Him saying, “Come, follow me.”

As I read this parable during the beginning of DTS, my heart began to sink, and my stomach churned inside of me.  I had never thought of my relationship with Jesus as being costly. I had never compared Jesus’s value against anything in my life. Thus marked a pivotal moment in my walk with the Lord, when I began to seriously consider if He was worth losing everything for.  In DTS, I had been growing in my personal relationship with God and cultivated a deeper understanding of who He is. This only led me to a deeper realization that Christ, and the opportunity for relationship with Him, has colossal, eternal, and infinite value. There were moments in which I forced myself to imagine my life without the Lord, and I wept.  And then there were other moments, in which I was calloused and hard-hearted, and I didn’t see the value of God. A wrestling began between my desire to truly love and value Jesus, and my desire to love myself and my fleshly pursuits. Through much prayer and by the grace of God, the Spirit revealed to me that God indeed is worth more than anything else I could imagine, and so I made the decision to wholly surrender to Him, to choose Him above all else.  I realized that I needed to surrender every gift that He has given to me, and say that if He wanted me to give those up, then I would be willing to do that. At the foot of the cross, I layed down living in Virginia near my family and friends, going to college, having a family, and being a doctor. I layed these things at Jesus’ feet, not because I had to, but because I wanted to, because He is so worthy of every dimension of this life He has given me.  I had tasted and seen the goodness of God: His steadfast love, faithfulness, forgiveness, grace, and so many other divine characteristics. I realized that God holds ultimate value, above everything else, and serving Him in whatever way He wants, is the desire of my heart. I decided that what I wanted was for my will to become more and more in line with His will, and that is exactly what began to happen.

As DTS progressed, I began seeing that the Lord’s will for my life is already laid out in Scripture.  I realized that I really did not need to ask God for His will in my life. Instead, God already had a plan and I only needed to ask Him how to align my life with this plan.  What’s His plan?? The Lord has demonstrated from cover to cover in His Word, that I am to “make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to do all that I [Jesus] have commanded” (Mat. 28:19-20).  God’s will is that every people group, tribe and tongue would have the opportunity to know Him, have a relationship with Him, and worship Him as their Creator. As I began to see God’s global purpose throughout Scripture, I realized that I desire to be a part of this mission: spreading the Good News. I want to be fully and wholly engaged in the Lord’s mission, and this is when I realized I no longer wanted to be a doctor, but rather I wanted to devote my life to full-time ministry.

As I was coming to this realization, I also was learning about the immense need for full-time ministers who are focused on those with little to no access to the gospel.  I learned that only three percent of all missionaries go to those without the gospel, and these missionaries are equipped with only one percent of the global church’s finances. This imbalance became even more shocking when I learned that those with little to no access to the gospel make up approximately forty percent of the world’s population.  So, here I was, at a critical time in my life when I was deciding what I would devote my life to. Why not devote my life to an eternally significant, kingdom-minded missions movement, and be a part of bringing the most important thing, the gospel, to those who have never had the chance to hear? I feel as though God has blessed me with the knowledge of this issue, as well as the ability to engage with it in full-time ministry.  After recognizing the need, seeing it first-hand, and realizing that I am in a position that allows me to go, there is nothing else I would rather do than dedicate my life to prioritizing the unreached and forgotten people of the world. I cannot imagine my life devoted to anything other than telling these people about the love and redemption available to them through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, so that God may get more of the worship that He is so deserving of!!!

What Next?

While I was quite excited about this new calling that the Lord had placed on my life, I still needed a plan of action.  I began praying and asking God what direction I should move towards after DTS concluded. During DTS, I realized a personal gift to teach, and so I am preparing for the possibility of serving God by this means in the future.  Because of this, and my own growing passion for the Bible, I have a strong desire to complete formal Bible training through YWAM’s secondary school: the School of Biblical Studies where the Inductive Bible Study Method is used.  More information:  After this, I want to finish my degree at Liberty University.  But all these things, God is asking me to put on hold until a future date.  After seeking many wise counselors and asking the Lord to guide me, He has been faithful to show me the way: I believe that God is calling me to partner with YWAM North Idaho in full-time ministry for at least the next two years.

About Staffing at YWAM North Idaho

At YWAM North Idaho, I will build a foundation in unreached-focused mission work to equip me for my future, while also pouring into other DTS students and experiencing what life looks like in ministry.

Staffing with YWAM North Idaho includes many responsibilities:

1. Developing discipleship and leadership skills.

  • I will be responsible for encouraging, exhorting, and teaching other  Christ-followers as they deepen their personal relationship with God.

2. Living with DTS students.

  • This encourages relationship-building, community development, and personal growth and creates an ideal live-learn environment.

3. Preaching the gospel in Thailand where Christians make up <1% of the population.

4. Partnering in the pioneering process to build YWAM North Idaho.

  • I will be investing my time and energy into developing YWAM North Idaho as a ministry, in order to further their vision of mobilizing the Church and sending armies of Christian missionaries to the unreached. (YWAM North Idaho started as a ministry three years ago).

5. Cultivating Thai language skills.

  • By the end of two years, I will have logged 720 hours of Thai language practice, the time required for conversational fluency.

6. Communications Director

  • I will be responsible for all social media platforms. This includes designing the base website, organizing and promoting our social media accounts, and writing the base blog content.

7. Mobile Team/Night Of Missions

  • I will be actively engaged in crafting a mobile presentation on the urgency of missions to the unreached.  This presentation will be shared with churches and other ministries in the Pacific Northwest region for the purpose of mobilizing the Church into zealously engaging the Great Commission.

8. Inventing Thai parables

  • I will be writing Thai parables that convey the kingdom of heaven in a culturally relevant manner so that our missions teams can share the gospel with the Thai people as effectively as possible.

9. Personal Discipleship:

  • I will be under the mentorship of YWAM North Idaho’s base directors, and will be challenged to strive towards character and leadership development, and ongoing growth in my relationship with the Lord.

As I reflect on the changes that have occurred in me over these past six months, I recognize that I came into DTS entirely apathetic towards missions.  To be transparent, I went to YWAM because I wanted to learn more about the God I believed in and to grow my own relationship with Him. However, the Lord changed my heart in ways I never anticipated, and showed me that I have been called to engage in His plan to reach every corner of the earth with His love by the power of the gospel.  Yet still, the wrestling with the Lord that I mentioned occured before I fully surrendered my life to Him, still continues. I do not believe that there becomes a moment in the Christian faith where we achieve perfection - the Christian walk is an ongoing, imperfect wrestling with the Lord. In honesty, I wrestled with the Lord just an hour ago, as I talked on the phone with my grandmother, both of us crying and trying to wrap our minds around me living across the country and not seeing one another nearly as much as I so desperately wish to.  A few months ago, I was listening to a podcast and the speaker explained that the word “israel” in Hebrew literally means “one who wrestles with God.” I can’t help but laugh a little bit at the accuracy in that definition! Although I am so fickle and many times I wonder why God has chosen me for this calling, and sometimes even wish He’d choose someone else, I know that His grace is sufficient and in that, I rejoice! I’m also daily amazed at how good His plan truly is: I am finding joy like nothing else I have experienced before in following the sometimes scary, but immensely rewarding narrow path the Lord has called me to.

To The Readers

I know that for many of you reading this, family especially, there might be lots of questions and alternative options popping into your minds.  I have been doing my very best to reach out to each of you and explain more of my heart in regards to serving in ministry with YWAM North Idaho, but if there are still things you would like to discuss, please just give me a call or shoot me an email.  I know that these changes have been unexpected, but the overwhelming support from you all in the face of changing times has been such a blessing. I know it’s not easy, the Christian walk was never designed to be, but you all mean the world to me, and I am so blessed to have a community that has surrounded me with wisdom and unwavering love through the process of making this decision.

For those of you reading this that maybe aren’t a practicing Christian, this is probably very foreign and some of my statements may have been confusing or left you with questions - please please please reach out to me.  I would love to talk to you about anything you have questions about.

For those of you who are practicing Christians, but completely “selling out” for the gospel sounds scary and maybe even radical and extreme, please reach out to me.  If this idea prompts questions or you’d just like to know more about what I mean by saying that, I’d love the opportunity to talk and explain! If you’d prefer another resource, check out the book Radical by David Platt.

As I said before, I am SO EXCITED to step into this season of servanthood and pouring into YWAM North Idaho and their vision to see Christ-followers engage passionately with the Lord’s global mission.  I truly believe that this ministry is going to mobilize so many missionaries to the unreached of Thailand and be a catalyst for a missions movement in the greater Pacific Northwest region. I am absolutely ready to dive into the ways God is going to move in the coming years!  In conclusion, I hope that this blog emulates my thoughtfulness in making this decision, as well as my passion for being obedient to God in what He has called me to do.

With love,


Song of the Week: Getting Into You - Relient K

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